The first day

Monday, 4th of April 2016

This is my first day alone in the city of London, well the first time I am by myself I mean, because lonely or alone is not at all what I feel in this gorgeous city. I guess my true struggles haven´t started (luckly), mostly because I haven´t moved to my new apartment in Notting Hill Gate. It is a spaceous studio in a quiet and lovely area of the city, it is self contained, which I learned means it has its own kitchen and bathroom, and believe me it is hard for an outsider to find such a great place since most apartments only have a shower room with a shared toilet (which I actually found a bit weird, having both in separate rooms).

The true London experience will only start on Wednesday, the day of my formal moving, also known as the day I will sign my first rental contract with a landlord. It is an interesting experience, when I was living in Germany never was I expected to do such thing, the apartment was provided already by my university, I was merely a student but now I have the frightining status of what so many people are scared of: The Emigrant.

Thatˋs right, I said it. The scary and prohibited word. Why is that? Why do so many people fear outsiders? Or why is it that this so called foreigners are so afraid of being called or even identifying themselves as emigrants? I can only think of one reason: because everything that is new equals strange and difference. I am new to this town and I haven´t felt uncomfortable at all here, people are extremely nice and respectful, the weather is typical to this place and quite charming in its own way, the only thing I really miss, apart from my dog (mainly after seeing the million types of dog breeds that walk down the street and play together at the park) is the visible sea and ocean so natural of Lisbon. That was also the most difficult part of my living experience back in Bamberg, Germany, the lack of the oceanˋs smell, that magnificent fragance that makes me feel at home.

As an emigrant my only truly desire is to fit in with the crowd, I guess that is all everyone wants, to fit in with their environment. When we are foreigners, everything seems strange, even the simplest things like crossing the street, in England it is regular to have the driving wheel on the right side of the car, I canˋt really tell how many times I have looked down to fix my hair and stumbble upon a person inside of the car looking directly at me or even the money, trying to stop thinking about Euros seems like an impossible mission for me, I continue to constantly compare both currencies, a penny will always be one cent, even though is not worth the same. Before he left, my father decided to share some of his wisdom with me about this subject, he told me that there are two types of emigrants in the world: the ones who work to survive and the ones that fit with the nationals. Is obvious that only one of those two types is the desirable one. The ones who struggle to make a living are only thinking about surviving and having money for the next month, while the other ones are the true winners, simply because they are accepted as part of the culture where they are in. When we are finally accepted and seen as one of their own, the culture begans to be our own too and the city because less than just a place you live but more like a home.

I have been wanting to come to London since I was 16 but never truly imagined it would happen so soon. I really do hope this is the right city for me because it was always the home of my dreams.

From a new londoner at heart,

Mariana Fidalgo